Women
Why don't witches wear panties?
Why don't witches wear panties?So they can get a better grip on the broom.
Why is the section of body between a womans...
Q. Why is the section of body between a womans breasts and her croutch called a waste??A. You could fit another pair of breasts there Sent by sam
Judy arrived home from her date...
Judy arrived home from her date, tossed her coat over a chair, her handbag over the banister, she threw her clothes around the bedroom without care. The next morning at breakfast, her mother asked her if she had a good time?"Oh", sighed Judy, "I had a wonderful time.""I thought as much", her mother remarked, "Your underpants are still stuck to the ceiling!"
Commercial
Commercial:Do Seagulls Circle your house?Does your boyfriend sing " The shrimp boats are coming"?Do you make people vomit in the elevator?Try FDS!Feminnine hygene spray! two squirts will 'twinkle your twat'
Sheep Dog Bra
The success of the "Wonder Bra" for under-endowed women, has encouraged the designers to come out with a bra forover-endowed women.It's called the "Sheep Dog Bra"...It rounds them up and points them in the right direction.
The doctor said to the housewife...
The doctor said to the housewife,"I've got good news and I've got bad news.The good news is you don't have PMS.The bad news is - you're a bitch!"
Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
Who makes all the bras for brunettes? Fisher-Price
How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair color?
How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair color?By studying what oil spills did to seaweed.
Two AA batteries
Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, "Come this way," and heads towards the back of the store."If I could come that way," she tells the retreating clerk, "I wouldn't need the batteries."
Three Things Women Can Do That Men Can't
Three Things Women Can Do That Men Can't:1. Bleed for a week and not die.2. Give milk without eating grass3. Bury an eight inch bone faster than any dog!
These two women went out for a night on the town...
These two women went out for a night on the town and got just totally sloshed. At the end of the evening they decided to take a short cut through a cow pasture after being unable to find a ride home. They became lost so split up to try and find the road home. One of the lushes doubled back only to stumble on the other flat on her back sucking on, and playing with a cow's udders. Her friend screamed "what are you doing"? the other lush says "shut up, with all these guys here someone'll drive us home".
Good morning ladies...
This blind guy was walking pass the fish market and he said"Good morning ladies.."
What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
One of the life's mysteries
One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie...
The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this you're too damn close" embroidered on her panties and bra. "Yes Madame," said the clerk. "I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?" "Braille," she replied.
An advantage of being with an older woman
An advantage of being with an older womanIf you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. Older women can afford to support you.
Whats the definition of a perfect woman?
Whats the definition of a perfect woman ? a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it. b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in. c) The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turn into a roastbeef sandwich and a sixpack.
Beer and estrogen
In a recent scientific research project, it was provedthat Beer contains the female hormone oestrogen.That's why after a six pack you can't drive.
What kind of a woman
"Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?" asked John"Yes, I will." Paula replied."Would you do it for one thousand?" he asked."Well maybe, or maybe I'd do something else for you."she answered with a wink."How about a blowjob for $20?" responded John."Hey! What kind of women do you think I am?" Paula snapped, indignantly. "That's already been established, Paula. Now we're just haggling over the price!"
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says...
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!" "Oh NO! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard thatyou've been calling me fat?!?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I've also heard that you're saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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