Women
A young girl goes to the gynecologist and he examines her...
A young girl goes to the gynecologist and he examines her.He says,"You have acute vaginitis."She says "Thank you."
Did you hear about Tempura House?
Did you hear about Tempura House?It's a shelter for lightly battered women.
What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20 does not?
What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20doesn't?A belly-button!
What has a woman got in common with a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken?
What has a woman got in common with a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken?Once you get past the tender breast and the juicy thigh, all you're leftwith is a greasy box.
What does a girl with bulimia call two fingers?
What does a girl with bulimia call two fingers?Desert.
Why do women get PMS?
Why do women get PMS?THEY JUST FUCKING DO ALRIGHT!?
Why do they call it PMS?
Why do they call it PMS?Mad Cow disease was already taken.
Why are girls like pianos?
Why are girls like pianos?When they're not upright, they're grand...
3 pregnant women were waiting...
3 pregnant women were waiting in the doctor's waiting room for an antenatalcheck-up and were all knitting garments for there respective babies.Suddnely the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one..."What was that?", the other two ask, curiously."Calcium tablet. Good for mommy, good for little baby", she replies, pattingher stomach affectionately.Satisfied, all 3 continue with their knitting...5 minutes later, the second one stops knitting, checks her watch, takes abottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.."What was that?", the other two enquire"Vitamin tablet", she replies, "Good for mommy, good for little baby" andshe pats her stomach affectionately.All 3 smile and continue busily with their knitting...5 minutes later, the last woman stops knitting, checks her watch, takes abottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.."What was that?" ask the other two.."Thalidomide. I can't knit sleeves..."
Why is psycho- analysis so much easier for men rather than women?
Q. Why is psycho- analysis so much easier for men ratherthan women? A. Because when it comes time to revert to childhood, menare already there.
What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
What do you call a truckload of vibrators? -Toys for Twats.
How is a woman like an airplane?
How is a woman like an airplane? -Both have cockpits.
How is a woman like a road?
How is a woman like a road? -Both have manholes.
Why did god invent alcohol?
Why did god invent alcohol? - So fat women can get laid too.
A milk bath
When the milkman found a note on one of his customer'sdoors asking for 16 gallons instead of the usual quart,he rang the bell."Sorry to bother you, ma'am," he said, "but are you sureyou want sixteen gallons of milk today?""Oh, yes," said the lady of the house. "I'm going to takea milk bath.""Do you want it pasteurized?""No, just up to my tits would be fine."
Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel?
Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel?It's for the Christmas period.
The Perfect Day - Him and Her
The Perfect Day - Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping 2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs 3:00 Facial, massage, nap 7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing 10:00 Make love 11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms The Perfect Day - Him 6:45 Alarm. 7:00 Shower and massage. 7:30 Blowjob. 7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section. 8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys. 8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens. 12:30 Blowjob. 12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini. 3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap. 6:15 Blowjob. 6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit. 7:30 Shit, shower, shave. 8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals). 9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero 10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries 11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob Sleep
What do you get if you put your hand down an pyschic pants?
What do you get if you put your hand down an pyschic's pants? Your palm red once a month.
The recent announcement that Mattel and the producers of Baywatch...
The recent announcement that Mattel and the producers of "Baywatch"have joined forces to create Baywatch Barbie came as no surprise.After all, both companies have made millions off airheads withflawless skins, Malibu tans, and synthetic breasts.If Baywatch Barbie sells well, other Barbie/TV tie-ins seem certainto follow. Some possibilities:Melrose Place Barbie: Comes complete with her Barbie Dream Apartment,where Skipper and the rest of the gang live rent-free. Other accessoriesinclude a bottle of vodka, silk sheets and an arrest warrant.Dr. Barbie, Medicine Woman: This helpful doll offers other homesteadersimportant tips like what conditioner to use out on the Plains and how totake care of their nails while shoeing a horse.America's Most Wanted Barbie: She's on the run after 30 years of crimeagainst feminism.Oprah Barbie: Push a button on her back and this Barbie actually speaks!Hold your very own talk show with topics like how tough math class is,Ballerina Barbie's struggle with bulimia, and Kens who wear Barbie's clothes.My So-Called Barbie: She faces the same troubling issues as regular teens whodon't have huge wardrobes, pools, ponies, and perfect bods.Roseanne Barbie: The dark side of the American dream is explored with this doll,which shows what happened after Barbie graduated from high school, married tooyoung and ate too much.Murder, Barbie Wrote: Whenever this elder stateswoman of the Barbie set (she's 27!)arrives in the playhouse, all the other dolls mysteriously disappear.
What is the loose skin around the pussy called?
What is the loose skin around the pussy called? -The woman.
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