Sex
What is the difference between Bill Clinton, and the Titanic?
What's the difference between Bill Clinton, and the Titanic ??It is known how many went down on the Titanic.
A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki...
A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs.He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room.When they're done, he said, "I'm afraid myFinnish isn't too good."The hooker replied, "Your foreplay ain't allthat hot either."
A college couple is under a tree on campus making out...
A college couple is under a tree on campus making out. After a while, the girl says, "I wish you had a flashlight." He says, "Why's that?" She says, "Because you've been eating grass for fifteen minutes."
During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss...
During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table."Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you.""All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through."In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?""Put them on the chair, on top of mine."
There were 2 old-maid sisters, both virgins...
There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!!"Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about you." 10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 o'clock...12 o'clock... Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flys open. In runs Gladys... straight to the bathroom.Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??" No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself."What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty."Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out. When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!!"
What is the difference between mayonaise and sperm?
What's the difference between mayonaise and sperm?Mayonaise doesn't hit the back of a girls throat at 40 mph.
A man comes to a doctor and...
A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering,finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem.Can you help me?""Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proudphysician, "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, thatdoes the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history."So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merryway.A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on thestreet. "Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got tothank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful! I've had sexfourteen times in eight days!""Well, I'm glad to hear that" says the pleased physician, "What doesyour wife think about it?""Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't even been home yet!"
The Australian way
After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraidof spending the rest of her life alone, she decided to marry. She hadbeen with so many perverted men over the years that she felt sheneeded a change and would only get one by marrying a virgin male nearher age.She took out ads in newspapers around the world seeking a malevirgin who was 55 years old. She finally narrowed her choice to anAustralian computer programmer.After a thorough background check, she was satisfied that he hadindeed never been with a woman and they were married. On theirwedding night, she went into the bathroom to change into her nightie.When she came back out, she found that her new husband had taken thebed and everything in the room and stacked it in one corner of theroom. Thinking this was rather kinky, she said to her husband, "Ithought you had never been with a woman."He replied, "That's true, but if it's anything like screwing akangaroo, we're going to need all the room we can get!
How is pubic hair like parsley?
How is pubic hair like parsley?You push it to the side before you start eating.
What is the definition of a virgin?
What's the definition of a virgin?an ugly third grader
What do you do when you are finished fucking a ten-year old girl?
What do you do when you're finished fucking a ten year old girl?A: Turn her over and pretend she's a ten year old boy!
What is 3 feet tall and gives me head?
What's 3 feet tall and gives me head?My son.
What is 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?Crib death.
Ring, ring!
*ring* *ring*"Hello?" Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, "Hello?""I'll bet you want me to come into your bedroom," a male voice whisperedhuskily, "...undress you, lick you from head to toe and make love to you untilmorning.""Geez," the woman replied, "you can tell all that from two hello's?"
Why is a joke like pussy?
Why is a joke like pussy?Neither's any good if you don't get it.
What did cinderella do when she got to the ball?
What did cinderella do when she got to the ball???She choked...
What is the difference between white onions, brown onions...
What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 30 centimeterdick?Nothing.... They all make your eyes water.
What do you do after you just raped a 12yr old deaf & dumb girl ?
What do you do after you just raped a 12yr old deaf & dumb girl ?Break her fingers so she can't tell her mum.
A guy rings work and says...
A guy rings work and says "I can`t come in to work today as I`m sick"The voice at the other end asks "How sick are you ??"The guy says "Well I`m in bed with my 12 year old son !!"
Why do they put strings on tampons?
Why do they put strings on tampons?So you can floss after you eat!
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