Politics
What do you get when you cross a crooked politician...
Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer? A. Chelsea
A bus filled with politicians was driving through the...
A bus filled with politicians was driving through thecountryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver,caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control andcrashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash andrushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicianshe buries them. The next day, the police come to the farm to question theman. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the policeofficer. "Were they all dead?" The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but youknow how politicians lie."
A tourist from the United States of America...
A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturantin Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the bestcountry in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says,"Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in frontof the White House in Washington D.C. and yell 'PresidentClinton is a bastard!' and nothing would be done to me." TheCuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. Icould stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing andnothing would be done to me too!"
In the land of Oz
Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the HouseGingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in acar together in Kansas. A tornado comes along andwhirls them up into the air and tosses them thousandsof yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from thevehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz. They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. TheWizard is known for granting people their wishes. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton speaks up, "Where's Dorothy?"
Book shelf
Monica Lewinsky's tell-all book about her affair with the U.S. Presidenthas, for one Winnipeg Chapters outlet, not sold all that well after itsfirst day on the shelves, as reported by CBC Radio News.To draw attention to the book, or to perhaps add some perspective, theLewinksy book had three other titles surrounding it on its display:"Divorce for Dummies""100 Ways to Leave Your Lover""How to Remove Stains"
Why is Bill Clinton happy he named his dog "Buddy?"
Q: Why is Bill Clinton happy he named his dog "Buddy?"A: Because it's a BAD TIME to be yelling "come Spot!" in the Whitehouse.
What will communism be like when perfected?
Little Boy: What will communism be like when perfected?His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.LB: But what if there is a shortage of meat?HF: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying,"No one needs meat today."
News war
Serbian official press agency claimed today that Serbian forces shot down two F-117 Planes and four Ballistic "smart" missiles.Pentagon denied the statement, saying that all of them had safely returned to NATO's base.
War ad
Will sell for parts one F-117 Plane in wrecked condition. Self pick-up from Yugoslavia by buyer
What do pub landlords say in Kosovo at chucking out time?
Q. What do pub landlords say in Kosovo at chucking out time?A. "Come on you lot, have you not got any homes to go to?"
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of...
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. SuddenlyClinton grabs Hillary by thecollar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunnedumpire shouted, "No, Mr. President!I said, Throw the first PITCH!"
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant...
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?" he asks. Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
At a U.N. meeting the American ambassador...
At a U.N. meeting the American ambassador turned to the Japanese ambassador and whispered, "When was your last election?" The Japanese ambassador turned bright red and whispered back, "before bleakfast."
Finally, Serbian hackers hacked the navigation systems...
Finally, Serbian hackers hacked the navigation systems of "Tomahawk" missiles -- now they're called "Boomerang."
Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child?
Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.Sent by Nic
The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that...
The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavianair defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfallwhile the jet was on a bombing run. The plane crashed intoan empty field, creating a huge crater. Serbian search andrescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, provingthat NATO is using Albanian men, women and children terroriststo wage their war of terror from the sky.
Why are politicians like diapers?
Why are politicians like diapers?Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a...
Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national bird? The spread eagle.
Next US President
A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist:"I'd like to become the next President of the United States."The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?"Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
A new bucket
The 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' franchise has a new Bucketof Chicken out. It's called the 'Hillary Clinton Bucket.'It contains two small breasts and two large thighs.
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