Miscellaneous
There was this little boy who went in the whore house...
There was this little boy who went in the whore house with adead frog on a leash. He went to the counter and asked thepimp for a whore with aids, the man knew he was young but theboy said "please mister, just give me a whore with aids, ihave money thats no problem" the man was like ok "if you havethe money". So the boy went in and fucked the whore and cameout smiling to the man at the counter. The guy didn't understnadwhy he was so happy. "its a long story" the boy said. "tell me,i can wait" hte man said impaciently. "ok" the boy says "i haveaids now right? well--i'll go home and screw the babysitter...she'll get aids, then my dad will come homw and screw her...he'll get aids, my dad will screw my mom...she'll get aids.Then my mom will then screw the milk man.....and he's the son of a bitch that ran over my frog!"sent by Alaine
When is it OK for a lady to slap a midget?
When is it OK for a lady to slap a midget? When they are slow dancing and he tells her how nice her hair smells.
One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party...
One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were.When one couple arrived he announced "Mickey and Minnie Mouse".As the next couple arrived he announced "Tarzan and Jane" and so on as each guest arrived.Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe."Who do you think you are?" demanded the doorman. Having ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local university CS department The doorman asked "How shall I announce you?"The man said, "I'm premature ejaculation""I'm very sorry sir", said the doorman in obvious shock, "I cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering.""O.K." said the professor. "Just say I came in my pants"
La Machine
La Machine....vegetables...vvrrrrr...La Machine....fruits...vvrrrrr...La Machine....little children...No mommy, No!...vvrrrrr...La Machine.
Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?
Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants? - So people can read her lips.
what do you get when a chicken cross the road falls and...
Q. what do you get when a chicken cross the road falls in the dirt and then recrossesA. a dirty crosserSent by Corey
Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?
Did you hear about the queer deaf mute? - Neither did he.
What is blue and sings alone?
What's blue and sings alone? - Dan Ackroyd.
Dumb intercourse
"Information. Can I help you?""I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please.""One moment, please." Pause. "I'm sorry sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.""No, no. It isn't a person. It's an organization. It's TheaterGuild.""I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.""Not *Theodore*! *Theater*! The word is *theater*. T-H-E-A-T-E-R!""That, *sir*, is NOT the way you spell Theodore."
Dumb Intercourse II
"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.""Would you spell that, please?""Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."The operator pauses. "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor . . ."
Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?
Did you hear about the woman who has five legs? Her knickers fit her like a glove!
A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter...
A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter, 'waiter, there's a fly in my soup!' The waiter replies, 'That, sir, is entirely possible, you see our cook used to be a tailor.'
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
Why did the one-handed man cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
What is the definition of Agony?
What is the definition of Agony?A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.
Why do farts smell?
Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too.
Why are E.T.s eyes so big?
Why are E.T.s eyes so big? Because he saw the phone bill.
What is It?
What is It? Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. Maddona does not have one. And a priest does not use his. What is it? A Last name
A lady was in a hardware store looking at...
A lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said 'I am blind drop it on the ground and i'll tell ya. She dropped it on the ground.'Aahh that's 10.00.' She bent down and let a big fart that everyone heard. But, she really wanted the pole so she picked it up. And went to pay for it. 'That will be 20.00' 'But you said 10.00' '10.00 extra for the stink bait and duck call.
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck.
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