Ethnic
An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name...
An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his namelegally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked"Can i help you sir?"Our man said "Yes, I would like to change my name.""What is your current name?" asked the clerk."Martin Arsehole," replied the man.The clerk laughed, and said "I can see why you want achange. What would you like your new name to be?""Tim."
What do you call a gay Indian?
What do you call a gay Indian? A brave sucker!
What is the difference between a homeless and a pizza?
What's the difference between a homeless and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.
What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?
What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track? The Indy 500.
How many Poles does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many Poles does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know. I havn't find one that could do it yet.
Do you know why the baby Jesus was not born in Iowa?
Do you know why the baby Jesus wasn't born in Iowa? They couldn't find three wise men!!!Sent by Spencer
What is the difference between a jew and a canoe?
What is the difference between a jew and a canoe?A canoe tips.....Sent by deadcatz
What do West Virginians call a pretty woman?
What do West Virginians call a pretty woman? A tourist.
What is New Jersey state bird?
What is New Jersey's state bird? The common House Fly.
What goes: Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, bang...
What goes: Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, bang bang, clip clop, clip clop, clip clop? An 'Amish' drive-by shooting
A reason for divorce
"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questionedhis client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?""Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport."The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?""No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. "I'm always first outof bed."Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. "Well, does he go in forunnatural connubial practices?""Shure now, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows anything aboutthe connubial."Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on. "What I'm trying to find out arewhat grounds you have.""Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds.""Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation,"you need a reason that the court can consider. What is the reason for youseeking this divorce?""Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man can't hold anintelligent conversation."
Tim Kelly was walking therough a dim passageway...
Tim Kelly was walking therough a dim passageway when someonespoke to him. "Good evenin', Kelly," said the muffledfigure. "Don't ye be knowin' your old friend Grogan any more?"Kelly stared at Grogan, whose face was a patchwork of bandagesand adhesive plaster. One arm was in a sling and he was leaningon a crutch."Saints!" cried Kelly. "Was ye hit by a train, Grogan, or didye merely jump from the trestle?""It could've been both," said Grogan, "considerin' the feel ofit. But the truth is, I was in bed with Murphy's wife when Murphyhimself comes in with a murtherin' big shillelagh in his hand,and the inconsiderate creature beat the livin' bejazus outa me.""He did indade," said Kelly. "But couldn't ye defend y'rself,Grogan? Hadn't ye nothin' in your own hand?""Only Mrs. Murphy's ass," said Grogan. "It's a beautiful thingin itself, but not worth a dom in a fight."
Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern...
Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern.To Mike Callahan, the barkeep, Shandy said "Mike, I'll be havin'three whiskeys."Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. "Now, Timothy,it's not the usual thing for you to ask for three whiskeys. It'scelebratin', you are."Ahh, ye know me too well, Micheal, ye do. Truth, and I'm celebratingme first blow job."Callahan smiled benevolently and set a fourth glass on the bar."Now, that's special," he said. "For an old customer like y'rself,here's a fourth on the house, so I may be sharin' your celebrationwith you."Shandy shook his head, and replied "'Tis verra kind of ye, Micheal,but I'm thinkin' if three won't get rid of the taste, four won'teither."
What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?
What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? - Quattro Sink-o
How does a Russian commit suicide?
How does a Russian commit suicide? He smells his armpit How does an American commit suicide? He tells this joke to a Russian.
Why does a Jewish American Princess close her eyes during sex?
Why does a Jewish American Princess close her eyes during sex? She can't stand it to see her husband enjoy himself.
How come Mexico never has a good Olympic team?
How come Mexico never has a good Olympic team? Because all of the mexicans that can run, jump, or swim are in the U.S.
An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time...
An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time wasbeing wined and dined by the State Department. The GrandEmir was unused to the salt in American foods (frenchfries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantlysending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with aglass of water, but then came the time when he returnedempty-handed."Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?"demanded the Grand Emir."A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered thewretched Abdul, "white man sit on well."
Two Texan are sitting in a small town bar...
Two Texan are sitting in a small town bar, where one braggedto the other: "You know, I had me every woman in this town,except my mother and my sister." "Well," his buddy replied, "between you and me we got 'em all."
A Polish family is sitting in the living room...
A Polish family is sitting in the living room.The wife turns to the husband and says, "Let's send the kids out back to p-l-a-y , so we can fuck."
<< Prev 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Next >>