Ethnic
If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?A: A fur coat.
Why do Jews wear yarmulkes?
Why do Jews wear yarmulkes?Because the little propellers cost extra!
How do Catholics separate the men from the boys?
Q: How do Catholics separate the men from the boys?A: With a crowbar.
St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day...
An Australian joke...St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo's stroll up."Your names aren't on today's list... let me go and ask the Boss" he says.In God's office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo's, and Godtells Peter to go and tell them to fuck right off.St Peter takes his leave. 5 minutes later St Peter runs back into the room and says "they're gone"God says "the Abo's? Good". and St Peter replies... "NO THE PEARLY GATES!!!".
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sitting...
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sitting on a beach notice a mermaid sitting on a rock. The Englishman approaches her and says 'Have you ever been kissed?' No says the Mermaid. He kisses her and she likes it. after a while the Scotchman approaches her and says 'Have you ever been fondled?'. She says no and he fondles her, much to her delight. After onother while the irishman approaces her and asks 'Have you ever been fucked?. she says no. 'Well you are fucked now because the tide's gone out.
Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday...
Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday in Australia.His mate asked him what it was like."Australia's a great place!" Paddy replied. "First they take you homeand fill you so full of piss you can't stand up. Then, to top it off, theylet you fuck their women whenever you want.""Is that right?" said his mate very impressed. "I always heard Australianswere real pricks.""Well," said Paddy, "Only the white ones!"
This black guy is walking along a beach when...
This black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down a sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he'll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a Jewish genie, he say's to the nigger that he have two wishes. The black guy thinks for a couple of seconds, and quickly says:, "I want to be white and surrounded by cunt."In an instant he is turned into a tampon.Now the morale of this story is:Don't ever expect anything from a Jew without strings attached.
All-inclusive
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Aussie, an Abo, a Yank, an African, an elephant, a refrigerator, two blondes, a homosexual, three social workers, a Jew, a crocodile and a kiwi all walked into a bar.The bartender turned around and said, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
Did you hear about the man who was half Jewish & half Italian?
Did you hear about the man who was half Jewish & half Italian?He made himself an offer he couldn't understand.
What's long and hard that a Greek bride gets...
What's long and hard that a Greek bride gets on her wedding night?A new last name.
Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library?
Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library?Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been coloured in yet.
How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas?
How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas?They all gather around their cash registers and sing"What a Friend We Have In Jesus..."
What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill you."A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself."
What's the one thing you can do to a Jewish...
What's the one thing you can do to a Jewish girl's assholeto make her squeal with delight? Give him a raise.
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says,?"Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"
Did you hear about the new German microwave oven?
Q: Did you hear about the new German microwave oven?A: It seats 500.
Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?
Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?A: It did $100 million worth of improvements.
Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?
Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?A: He wiped the chain and pulled himself.
A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot...
A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...thebartender looks up and says " where the hell did you get that thing?The Parrot replies " Over in Africa, there's millions of them " !!!!
Did you hear about the Irishman who went duck hunting?
Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went duck hunting?A: He didn't get any because he couldn't throw the dog high enough.
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