Celebrities
Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson
More Jesse news... Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to thepopulation for my act of copulation. I gave in to temptation, for the anticipation of sexual gratification, that I could not obtain through masturbation, resulted in my fornication. I accepted her invitation,and provided her with excitation, stimulation, penetration, replication, and liberation. She provided lubrication (to avoid inflammation) and I wore condoms to avoid contamination. She cried for duplication but I insisted upon termination, in spite her fascination with variation. This has caused me great aggravation, and the agitation and provocation of the media has resulted in my humiliation,denigration, and degradation. My wife is considering castration, whichwould require my hospitalization. Pray that this matter will find culmination in my sanctification and rehabilitation so that my plans for nomination to my ultimate vocation will not result in revocation and termination. I hope this proclamation has provided illumination and verification and will prohibit further provocation. Sincerely, The Rev. Jesse Jackson
IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS
IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. Girlfriends, take heed!! There is a new drug that is in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to induce their male victims to have sex with them. The shocking news is that the drug is available virtually anywhere! It goes by the street name "Beer". All girls have to do is buy a "Beer" or two for almost any guy and then simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered literally helpless against such tactics.
What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and McDonalds?
Here's a gross one:What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and McDonalds?They both stick their beef between 9 year old buns.
What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned...
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turnedto an attendant standing nearby."This," she said, "I suppose, is one of thosehideous representations you call modern art?""No, madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."
What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?
Here's a lame one....What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?Chocolate-chip cookie DOH!
What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?Bugs Bunny.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?From a catalogue.
How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?When the big hand is on the little hand.
What do you call 5 dogs with no balls?
What do you call 5 dogs with no balls?The Spice Girls!
What was the last thing Di said to Dodi?
What was the last thing Di said to Dodi?Don't you think were taking this thing a little too fast?
What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?They both live off dead Beatles.
What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?
What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?Hugh Grant.
Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks...
Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God isboth male and female."This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, "Is God black or white?""Well, God is both black and white."This further confuses him so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless,"Honey, God is both gay and straight."At this Little Johnny?s face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"
What do Viagra And DisneyLand have in common?
What do Viagra And DisneyLand have in common?They both cause you to stand around for an hourwaiting for a two minute ride!!
What do you call Batman and Robbin run over?
What do you call Batman and Robbin run over?Flatman and Ribbon.Sent by Matias
If Britney Spears and Fat Bastard mated...
If Britney Spears and Fat Bastard mated, the resulting child would be:Anna Nicole Smith.Sent by Marisa
What trivial fact about Mel Blanc...
What trivial fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?He was allergic to carrots.
Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant...
Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt. "Superman don't need no seat belt," Ali growled. "Well, Superman," the stewardess replied, "don't need no airplane!"
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out
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