Celebrities
Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter...
Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. Peter asks: "Oh dear, what happened to you?" Di answers: "I died in a car crash, but wait till you see my friend, he looks much worse". Half an hour later Dodi shows up and St. Peter says: "My God, you look terrible."Dodi replies: "This is nothing. Wait till you see my driver."Half an hour later some bones and flesh move slowly to the Gates, and St. Peter says: "So you're the driver?""No, I'm Mother Theresa.
Did you know that Mike Tyson has an upcoming bout with...
Did you know that Mike Tyson has an upcoming bout with Prince Charles? It seems that no-one else has big enough ears to go 12 rounds.
A definition of God
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy's mind, sat him and said: "God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white."To which the child responded, "Well, then is God Michael Jackson?"
Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps...
Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.Bart: Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.Homer: Why you little -- !
What did O.J. say to Goldman when he found him with his ex-wife?
Q: What did O.J. say to Goldman when he found him with his ex-wife?A: Hey pal, mind if I cut in?
Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing
I went past a plastic surgeon's shop...
I went past a plastic surgeon's shop the other day and saw Michael Jackson picking his nose.
What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?
What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch...
Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres has a new line of...
Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres has a new line of sneakers "coming out"?They're called "dykeees". They have a longer than normal tongue and you can get them off with one finger!
What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?
What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?He put it on.
Iraqi TV Guide
Iraqi TV Guide MONDAY8:00 Husseinfeld8:30 Mad About Everything9:00 Suddenly Sanctions9:30 Allah McBealTUESDAY8:00 Wheel of Fortune and Terror8:30 The Price is Right if Saddam Says its Right9:00 Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things9:30 Iraq's Funniest Public Execution BloopersWEDNESDAY8:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer8:30 Diagnosis: Heresy9:00 Just Shoot Me9:30 VeilwatchTHURSDAY8:00 Mahatma Loves Chachi8:30 M*U*S*T*A*S*H9:00 Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses9:30 My Two BaghdadsFRIDAY8:00 Judge Saddam8:30 Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things9:00 Achmed's Creek9:30 No-witness News
What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common?
What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called?
What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called? Missionary Position Impossible.
What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?
What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?Scratching like hell to get out of that box.
What's the first problem the MJ's child will have in life?
What's the first problem the MJ's child will have in life? Figuring out which parent is his mother.
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??He thought it was a delivery service.
What can Calista Flockhart do with dental floss?
What can Calista Flockhart do with dental floss? Hang herself.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car?
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car? Neither has he.
Heard about Salman Rushdie's sequels to "Satanic Verses"?
Heard about Salman Rushdie's sequels to "Satanic Verses"? 1) Buddha, you Fat Fucking Bastard, 2) Jesus was a Lousy Carpenter.
Who's got long blonde hair and big tits...
Who's got long blonde hair and big tits,and lives in Melbourne, Australia? Salman Rushdie.
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