Blonds
Fly, baby, fly!
A police officer arrives at an accident scene whereapparently three blondes have leaped to their deathfrom a very tall building... he suddenly notices thatone is still breathing so he approaches her and asks:"why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap outof that building?"The blond answers in a very weak voice: "we wanted totry out our new maxi-pads with wings"...
How can you tell if a FAX was sent by a blonde?
How can you tell if a FAX was sent by a blonde? It has a stamp on it.
What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
What is six inches long, has a bald head, anddrives blondes crazy? A hundred dollar bill.
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer? Hey! There's some things even a blonde won't do.
What are the worst 3 years of a blondes life?
What are the worst 3 years of a blondes life?The 1st grade.
What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?
What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?A mobile sperm bank.
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck...
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into alumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office andsaid, "We need some four-by-twos."The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meanttwo-by-fours.""All right. How long do you need them?"The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better gocheck."After a while, the customer returned to the office and said,"A long time. We're gonna build a house."
How do you know a blond has been using your computer?
How do you know a blond has been using your computer?When the joy stick is wet!Sent by Richard
Why don't blondes use vibrators?
(Q) Why don't blondes use vibrators? (A) Because they are scared they might chip thier teeth!!!Sent by T.L.Glenn
Which 3rd grader has the best body, the blonde, brunette or redhead?
Which 3rd grader has the best body, the blonde, brunette or redhead?The blonde - she is eighteen.
How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
How long?
This blond teenage dragged her boyfriend to the court on paternity issue.The lawyer asked, "How long are you having a sexual relationship?" "Years,I tell you years" she replied. " Thats no answer, you have to specify howlong has he intimated with you." "I don't know exactly, its average, aboutsix inches"
A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try...
A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes just a little faster. All of a sudden Vikki begins to lose her grip on the reigns of the horse and she begins to fall off, she starts screaming but the horse seemingly unoticing its rider continues... Now Vikki is grabbing on the the horses mane when she beigns to feel tired and her grip starts to fail. The blond lets go of the horses mane, only to get her foot caught in the saddle. So now she is riding along, the horse unnoticing and Vikki's head is beating against the ground over, and over, and over. She almost loses conscience when the Wal-Mart manager runs out and turns off the horse.Sent by Marge
Why was the female blonde confused...
Q. Why was the female blonde confused whilst going to the ladies toilet??A. She had to pull her own pants downSent by sam
A blonde went to the appliance store sale...
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain."I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman."Sorry we don't sell to blondes," he replied.She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told thesalesman, "I would like to buy this TV.""Sorry we don't sell to blondes," he replied."Darn, he recognized me," she thought.She went for a complete disguise this time. A new haircut and newcolor, a new outfit, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman."Sorry we don't sell to blondes," he replied.Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?""Because that's a microwave," he replied.Sent by Ace
Have you ever read Shakespeare?
One blonde to another...Have you ever read Shakespeare?No. Who wrote it?
What does a blond and a turtle have in common?
What does a blond and a turtle have in common?When they lay on their backs they're screwed!
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with a hole in her hand...
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with a hole in her hand. Thedoctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this wasan obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened?The blonde said, "Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commitsuicide, so first I stuck the gun in my mouth, but thought, wait aminute, I just had all that bridge work done, and I don't want to ruinit. So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought, wait aminute, I just got a nose job not too long ago, and I don't want toruin it! Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought, wait aminute, I just had these boobs done, and I don't want to ruin them! Sothen I stuck the gun in my ear, and thought, wait a minute, this isgoing to be loud!"
What do you get when you cross a blonde with an ape?
What do you get when you cross a blonde with an ape?A retarded ape.
A blonde came running home to her mother...
A blonde came running home to her mother, sobbing and hysterical."What's wrong?" her mum, (another blonde) asked."My boyfriend's just dropped me!" wailed the blonde.Her mother nodded wisely and started to tell her all about the birds and the bees."No mum," the blonde interrupted. "You don't understand - I can fuck and suck with the best of them, but he says I can't cook!"
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