Blonds
How can you tell if a blond has been sleepwalking?
Q:How can you tell if a blond has been sleepwalking? A:When you look in the refridgorator and there's lipstick all over the pickles.
Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator?
Q: Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator? A: Because The organe Juice said concentrate
What do you call 2 blondes in the front seat of a car?
What do you call 2 blondes in the front seat of a car? Dual air bags!
A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into...
A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into thecoke machine at a large Vegas casino. She keptpunching the buttons only to have happen what you'dexpect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other,and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so wentand got more. Back at it she went, blocking the wayto the other vending machines with the mounting pileof soda. All kinds. It didn't seem to matter to theyoung lady. People were starting to gather, seeing this beautifulwoman enthusiastically plugging money in like it wasfun. The people were gathering more though waiting theirturn at the machines. After watching a while, someone asked from the rear ofthe group, 'Hey, how much soda does one blonde need?' 'Hey back off, buddy,' she retorts, 'can't you see I'mwinning here?'
What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
What is a Blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
What is a Blondes favorite nursery rhyme? Hump me dump me
A blond walks into a bar...
A blond walks into a bar. Ouch!
There are three 3rd Grade girls...
There are three 3rd Grade girls, a blonde, a brunnett, and a red-head.Q. Which one is the tallest?A. The blonde -- she is 18 years old!
What do spaghetti and blondes have in common?
What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them!Sent by Sonia
Judi was bored with driving her BMW...
Judi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her."That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?Judi replied, "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid.""Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again."Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?""Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.Looking shocked she asked, "Oh. How many times a week do I have to do that?"
Counting cars
A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway.The brunette keeps saying, "88, 88, 88..."The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past."What are you doing?""I'm counting cars,"comes the rely. "Want to help?""Sure!" says the blond. She walks out to the middle of thehighway to the brunette and starts saying "88, 88, 88.."All the time the cars are dodging the two woman. Then a big semidrives by and runs over the blond. The brunnette calmly walksdown the highway, picks a new spot, and starts muttering, "89, 89, 89..."Sent by Kellie
There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead...
There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When theygot about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no ideaway use your imagination). The three girls jump off and swimto a nearby island. After being there a few days the brunettetries to swim to shore. She gets about five miles off theisland's shore and drowns. After a few days pass the redhead decidesthat she will try. She gets about have way and drowns. Nowrealizing all her friends are gone she decides to try too. Now sheswims for hours. She gets to where she can see the shore but sheis so tired she decieds to turn around and go back.Sent by Evan
What do you call three blondes on Santas Lap??
What do you call three blondes on Santa's Lap??Ho Ho HoSent by Adam
Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde...
Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: " OOOOOhhh that looks like semen." She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says "It feels like semen."The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says "It smells like semen." The blonde, reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, "It doesn't taste like anyone in this building . . ."
Two blondes were walking down the street...
Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar.""Let me look." said the other one. So she handed her the compact.The second blonde looked in the mirror then turned to the first one."You dumbass -- that's ME!
Two blondes were walking through the woods...
Two blondes were walking through the woods and theycame to some tracks. The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks." The other said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued and were still arguing whenthe train hit them.
What's the difference between a computer and a blonde?
What's the difference between a computer and a blonde? The computer is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE STANDING ON HER HEAD?
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE STANDING ON HER HEAD?A BRUNETTE WITH BAD BREATH!Sent by C?M
What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head?
What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head?All you can eat for under a buck.
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor...
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.The doctor asked her what had happened to herears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirtand the phone rang - but instead of picking upthe phone I accidentally picked up the ironand stuck it to my ear.""Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief."But. what happened to your other ear?""The son of a bitch called back."
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